words that seem right. words that felt right but saying it now is not right for me, doesnt feel right me saying it to him. heart broken. fake smile. good advice. trying to be a good friend when the whole world said it was crazy to be friends with him.
"im happy for you" sounds so bitter to me, now. words that doesnt sound right to me anymore. "smiling while your heart is aching" is getting old. "dont be afraid to get hurt, its a part of it" wasnt so much of a good advice for me to him. the great pretender.
i could give advices that are good for him, but not for me. it hurts. i ended the blue morning with a hug, and a long look in his eyes trying to figure out when i can have him again. i need to separate his friend and his admirer in me. i heard my heart shatter to pieces, i felt it crack. i felt very human. and it felt wrong, this was new to me.
i miss you.
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