happy with an empty pocket :)

Sa totoo lang feeling ko kulang na bigyan kita ng hermes J there is so much I want to give, but there is so much emptiness in my pocket already haha nevertheless, Im giving you something worth more than any hermes, all topman outfits combined, or gold and diamond studded d3s (if there is one :P)…

This.

ll be your adventure buddy, playmate, landi-mate, crazy friend and best partner. Ill hold your hand when you feel alone, spank your hand when you keep scratching your eyes, will cheer you on as you sneeze paulit ulit, your assistant sa shoots, your kakampi and contrabida in decision making, your not-so organized organizer and your couch potato friend J ill help you separate the carrots from the corn, the tomatoes and lettuce from our yummy burger; ako ang taga-abot at hanap ng inhaler mo pag hinihika ka na, ill kiss your forehead before you sleep, give you that one tight hug to let you know you’ll be fine. Ill go on bus rides with you even if im really scared to be on it, ill walk with you kahit gaano kalayo pa yan. Ill be the one who listens to your problems, sometimes ill be the problem too :P ill be that girl for you because I love you. I just really do.

I promise all these things. You have my word.

My pockets may be empty but my heart is rich J magkano ba kelangan mo?:)) forever? Basta for you, kayang kaya :D I love you!

Happy birthday to my crazy man, Toto J

language

"quid recipitur ad modum recipientis recipitur" i dont really know who said this but i cant forget this line from college. It simply means the message's meaning depends on how the receiver received it. well ummm thats how i understood it. i can draw a number 3 on the board and to me it may look like a unfinished cloud drawing, a tail of a pig or a butt.

its a good life lesson.
it may mean nothing to you, but it means the world to me
it may mean so much to you, but its worthless for me.

what if we had just one language? no more understanding. no more effort of talking.
we all speak different languages
we all have to learn.
lets speak their language.

love love love.
love language :)

Im a fan

Toto Villaruel, a young unconventional wedding photographer, continues to make a buzz in the industry as he perseveres to master what he loves to do. His unique, or should i say “weird”style of framing moments has captured the attention and hearts of many couples, aspiring wedding photographers and ummm everyone. 3 years in the business, with 200+ weddings, and i-dont-know how many engagement sessions…you will definitely look forward to his next posts and blogs :)

I did :) i even remember telling myself “i want to be a great wedding photographer someday,” after seeing his shot of a couple in Enchanted Kingdom years ago. The playfulness, the drama, the awkward/different framing, the complex to the simple kilig shots. Easily he defined his style, and quickly you can say “kay Toto Villaruel yang shot na yan!” Getting to work with him was super nakaka-pressure, but with that experience I instanly became a fan of not only his work but how he works. He talks to the couple as if they were long time friends; makes them feel comfortable when he instructs them how to pose or just be themselves in the shoot; his laugh will make you laugh so we’ll altogether laugh and that breaks the ice. He’s very professional. And its a guaranteed fun-filled shoot with him :)

For the past weeks, i’ve been observing him and the people around him, especially in the online community. Every time he gets a message in Tumblr saying a thank you for a follow back, he tells me “I just made someone’s day today”. And he’s happy about it. Or when 3 or more people likes his post on FB, he goes “woah madami naglike” as if he’s not used to people liking his posts. When he gets a number of inquiries in his e-mail, he’s like “dami!” like he doesnt get that a lot. When someone says “Uy Toto!” when we were walking somewhere, or “papicture naman po” thinking he will take the picture when that someone is asking for a picture with him :) A person happy with the simple things :)

Im a fan of his works, how he works, his personality, his character, his artistic-self but most of all, im a fan of his love :) YIKEEEEEEEE!

2months together and parang ang tagal na namin. I tell you its hard not to fall in love with him everyday :) but *ehem* sorry but he’s mine!

Ricardo, Happy 2nd monthsary. Thank you for making me part of your day, week, months and life. I appreciate your effort of going to my place everyday, feeling ko ang ganda ganda ko. A big hug for always smiling at me, whenever i ask you to smile! The Lord has given me favor for giving me someone who’s great like you :)

I know you are destined for greatness sweetheart. Im excited! and as a fan, i will gladly document it. I will always be here to support you, and support what you love to do! well, ummm 50-50 sa shopping! haha

I love you so much!

your no.1 fan

-NICOLAI

masarap mainlove

ilang beses ko ng nasabi ang "i love you" at kung ilan beses ko sinabi ang mga salitang yun ay ganun din kadami ang "good bye" na narinig ko. gayun pa man ay hindi ako natakot mainlove muli. Kaya ang dami kong naging ka-MU (mutual understanding. yak), mga kalandian at mga no commitment relationship na parang tanga lang. dating sila ng dating, at alis din sila ng alis.

hindi ako bitter. hinahayaan ko sila, choice nilang makipagrelasyon sakin at kung mas alam nila na para hindi kami sa isat isa edi GO! thank you to you pa :)

madami dami na akong nabitawan na linya. matatamis na salita, pampakilig na text, mga pangako, ang mga "pag-tanda natin" na phrases...lahat ng sinabi ko ay totoo, galing sa puso pero ngayon ang mga salitang yun ay wala ng saysay, patay na salita.

sa kasalukuyan, ako'y inlove. at hindi ko sasabihin na i've never felt like this before because i've felt like this before. i've been inlove. hindi ko sasabihin na this is different just because im inlove with him right now. hindi ko rin sasabihin na siya na, dahil sa kakailang "siya na" baka magaya siya sa iba at mawala.

ang gusto ko sabihin ay...sana siya ang unang nasabihan ko ng i love you. wala ng ibang lalaki. SANA siya LANG ang nasabihan at sasabihan ko ng i love you. pakiramdam ko nasayang ang mga naisip kong salita, nagawang tula, nasulat na love letters dahil para sakanyan lang yun dapat.

feeling ko sinayang ko.

kung pwede lang na lahat ng sinabi ko ay transferrable sa minamahal ko ngayon, eh gagawin ko. kung kaya't pasensiya na mahal ko kung madami akong nasabihan bago ko nasabi sayo. pero eto hindi ko pa nasabi, hindi ko naisip noon, ngayon ko lang naramdaman at sayo ko lang sasabihin:

God is pleased when i love you.

so ill love you more

P.S.

so ummmm

i wont stop loving you? if you let me :)

patak

tumutulo ang tubig sa gripo at di ko mapigilan. wala akong ibang magawa kundi saluhin.

patak. patak. nakikita ko ang sarili sa na namumuong tubig. patak. mawawala ang imahe ko. hindi ako makatulog sa katahimikan ng gabi. rinig na rinig mong pumapatak. patak. pero sa paulit ulit para na siyang lullaby na nilalambing ako patulog. patak. nagising sa gitna ng gabi iniisip bakit ako nagigising sayo. isang hugis, walang kulay, boring mong tunog. patak patak.

nagkwento ka ng nararamdaman mo. wala akong ibang magawa kundi makinig. patak. minsan nakikita ko ang sarili ko sa kinalalagyan mo. pero nawawala yun kung paano mo harapin ang problema mo. patak. patak. hindi ako makatulog iniisip kung ok ka lang. ramdam kong nahihirapan ka. patak. kung umiiyak ka man makakatulog ka kasi mapapagod ka. patak. biglang magigising ako mapapaginipan kita, bakit lagi kitang iniisip? patak. ikaw na dati ko ng alam na boring kausap. patak. nakakaiyak andito nanaman tayo sa senaryong ito. patak patak.

BUNSO

Sinisigaw ko ng malakas...BUNSO!!

oo dalawa kayong bunso sa paningin ko wala akong pakielam kung hindi kayo magka-age ah basta baby ko kayo.

kanina nagiinuman kaming pamilya. masaya nagaasaran kaming lahat, gustong gusto ko pag pinagtutulungan namin tatay namin eh. masaya yun :) lalo na pag niloloko namin na para siyang si papa. eh lakas mangasar ni rich tinawag ko tuloy siyang BRIX! (pangalan ng tatay ko) eh mabilis pumick up si rich, sigaw siya kay daddy ng "SONNY" (pangalan ng lolo ko) tawanan nanaman kami

bigla ako kinalabit ng daddy "nung kami pa lang ng mommy mo, sabi ko sakanya na gusto ko makasama ko mga anak ko uminom...ilang taon pa nung buhay ka na at si robin gusto ko pati asawa niyo makasama ko uminom" edi syempre natuwa naman ako biglang "pero tangina! ayoko pa toh mawala, akin na muna kayo" bigla akong "CHEERS daddy!!"

dad, gusto ko sabihin sayo kanina na lagi naman kami para sayo. period ayoko na magsalita at magexplain. mahal kita alam mo naman yun...sobra... hindi ko lang talaga alam pano kita lambingin. kaya sa simpleng pagholding hands ko sayo, pag yakap sa likod, pag kagat ng likod mo na sobrang bihira at nagagalit ka pa eh isipin mo ng lambing ko na yun. pero sobra..sobrang mahal kita.

at dun ko naisip...parang lahat sila bunso sa paningin ko. pati daddy ko, at mommy ko. lahat sila priority....lahat sila uunahin ko. kahit na matanda na sila, ipagtatanggol ko sila. kahit na may girlfriend na at matanda na sobra magulang ko eh ikikiss ko pa rin sila sa lips...wala akong pakielam. tangina lang talaga sa mga magkakaroon ng violent reaction sa sinasabi ko.

pero Mom, Dad, Robin, Bodee, Rich and Zach. I love you, these words are enough. I love you.

I love you forever.

Happy birthday Rich and Zach :)