naguusap tungkol sa girls ang mga kapatid ko, hanggang sa napunta sila sa usapang qualities, hanggang tanungin nila ako ano ang gusto ko sa isang lalaki.
sabi nung isa "ahhh chinese gusto ni ate"
nagkataon lang naman na magkasunod na chinese ang ex ko pero hindi ako mahilig sa chinese. mahilig ako sa chinito. pero hindi necessarily chinese.
sabi naman nung isa pa "photographer"
nagkataon lang din na photog din ang lumandi ulit sakin
pero yun napaisip ako sa pagkakataon na ito, ano nga ba ang type ko sa isang lalaki?
physical:
1. kelangan mas matangkad sakin (improve the clan!!)
2. hindi pwede payat,hindi pwedeng mataba. sakto lang
3. athletic, requirement ata sa pamilya namin ang marunong magbasketball
4. mukhang maangas na sweet (labo) or mabait na lokoloko ng onti
5. mabango kilikili :)
6. ayoko ng mahaba buhok, kalbo or short hair
7. ayoko sa mas maitim pa sa kapatid kong si rich at bodee.
8. huggable
9. hindi jologs magbihis (ok lang yung maporma ok lang din yung shirt and jeans)
10. at higit sa lahat, maganda ang mata ( hmmmm :) )
mental:
1. yung kaya ako, hindi yung kinakaya ko PARATI
2. yung kaya tanggapin yung pagmamahal ko na akala ng marami sobra. dapat ang pano ba? hmmm dapat ang jar of love niya ready pag umapaw o-ha o-ha
3. knows how to see problems in different views
4. ok lang seloso ng onti :)
5. game sa mga bagay na gusto ko ng gawin (travel, crazy things, ewan, spontaneity)
6. marunong tumahimik, marunong mag ingay
7. lets me and helps me
8. will accept my randomness, and weirdness and hyperness
9. is ready for my moody attacks (pms)
10. Sweet :) i love surprises
emotion/feelings/attitudes:
1. loves himself, so that he can love me
2. thinks, sometimes its okay to think :)
3. knows how to talk and let his feelings out
4. knows how to decide, and knows how to face consequences
5. can listen and pay attention (boys have short attentions spans)
6. knows how to say no, because im a yes person
7. medyo masungit sa iba except me and my family
8. thanks God im alive, and that he has me (awwww? pa cheezy)
9. Malambing kasi ako hindi malambing masyado, im learning
10. ako yung weakness niya
Spiritual:
1. fears God
2. loves God
3. knows God
4. walks with God
5. faithful
ewan madami pa siguro pero yan. yan lang muna ngayon. meron ganyan tao, alam ko meron.
kasi siya na yun pag nagkataon. YIKEEE
Friday, January 29, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Open the door
its hard when its all inside and you cant bring it outside.
im in no hurry, i wait for the moment to come.
i dont force it, but when its needed i make it happen.
i try to keep my cool everytime you're around, and damn its hard
i think about it and maybe you were'nt brought up that well
do i have to understand the lack of breeding you have?
i should understand if it were my fault, if it was me who wanted it.
why understand where you came from when you really dont mean a thing to me?
well you used to be but when i turned my back and someone saw the quick switch of a smile to a glare...
you were gone.
it all heavy inside. and if i was just not thinking, id step out.
i never wanted to fit in, its never me who would let myself in.
someone opens the door for me, and walks me right in.
i am invited and not pushed in.
if i dont fit, ill find a bigger space. even if it means me being alone.
im no drama queen or emo
what i mean is
becareful with the choice of words, or the words you say because these things come back to you.
and when it does ill make sure you feel the way i feel right now.
im in no hurry, i wait for the moment to come.
i dont force it, but when its needed i make it happen.
i try to keep my cool everytime you're around, and damn its hard
i think about it and maybe you were'nt brought up that well
do i have to understand the lack of breeding you have?
i should understand if it were my fault, if it was me who wanted it.
why understand where you came from when you really dont mean a thing to me?
well you used to be but when i turned my back and someone saw the quick switch of a smile to a glare...
you were gone.
it all heavy inside. and if i was just not thinking, id step out.
i never wanted to fit in, its never me who would let myself in.
someone opens the door for me, and walks me right in.
i am invited and not pushed in.
if i dont fit, ill find a bigger space. even if it means me being alone.
im no drama queen or emo
what i mean is
becareful with the choice of words, or the words you say because these things come back to you.
and when it does ill make sure you feel the way i feel right now.
Friday, January 22, 2010
sabi ni
sabi ng utak at puso ko buhay ka pa
biglang tumulo luha ko...
pantasya ang nasa utak at puso
realidad sa bawat patak ng luha ko
biglang tumulo luha ko...
pantasya ang nasa utak at puso
realidad sa bawat patak ng luha ko
Thursday, January 21, 2010
your accomplished plan
saturday
i knew you were in. i was that sure that you're getting out of that place quickly, you were strong. siguro, it was my mistake to be that sure that you were strong.
sunday
i was so excited to celebrate with my cousins in laguna. but then we got a call, a phone call. when i saw my mom wear her sunglasses, and a tear drop fell. i knew it was call, a call that came from the heart.
i saw you inside, all weak and could hardly breathe. you know how much pain it caused me? that man of steel in my mind, my idol. right there! i couldnt look at you but i my eyes were locked on you. it crumpled my heart like an old piece of paper.
i went back home, and i couldnt sleep. i wanted to be there in the waiting room, i wanted to take the whole shift. just to wait for you come out. i knew you were coming out.
sunday to monday
9pm -4am. visiting hours was over, but i dont care. i still went in to see you. i saw you in pain. i wanted to hold your hand, but i know fragile you were. the nurse was there and i knew she wanted me out, but i dont care. i want to see you. im content.
papa, tumayo ka na diyan. strong ka! alam kong kaya mo.
10am, yaya nini woke me up because there was another call. i answered and mom said your stomach was giving up already. i was waking up dad, but he just budged. i didnt know what to do already. i didnt know what i was doing. i got up, dressed up. i wanted be back where you were! another call, cardiac arrest. my dad got up
in the car. my dad and i were telling stories. but then a sudden silence came, we were both quiet. we got to the parking lot of the place, dad wanted me to go up first. but i said no. i guess i just couldnt see you like that in that state anymore.
papa, diba? tatayo ka na? bakit hindi ka pa tumatayo.
ayaw kitang bulungan. kasi tatayo ka pa eh. kasi magbibingo pa tayo eh, kasi kakausapin mo pa ako. lelecturan tungkol sa buhay.
1:14. ang cold mo naman! umalis ka na lang. di mo na kami kinakausap. bakit ka ganyan?
tuesday
dami mong friends.
wednesday.
nabalitaan ko na you wanted us to have lunch that sunday before going to the place. you wanted all of us to be together but your body was giving up saturday pa lang.
you told your doctors your coming in after lunch
you left us after lunch. we were all together.
thats what you wanted, that was your plan.
i knew you were in. i was that sure that you're getting out of that place quickly, you were strong. siguro, it was my mistake to be that sure that you were strong.
sunday
i was so excited to celebrate with my cousins in laguna. but then we got a call, a phone call. when i saw my mom wear her sunglasses, and a tear drop fell. i knew it was call, a call that came from the heart.
i saw you inside, all weak and could hardly breathe. you know how much pain it caused me? that man of steel in my mind, my idol. right there! i couldnt look at you but i my eyes were locked on you. it crumpled my heart like an old piece of paper.
i went back home, and i couldnt sleep. i wanted to be there in the waiting room, i wanted to take the whole shift. just to wait for you come out. i knew you were coming out.
sunday to monday
9pm -4am. visiting hours was over, but i dont care. i still went in to see you. i saw you in pain. i wanted to hold your hand, but i know fragile you were. the nurse was there and i knew she wanted me out, but i dont care. i want to see you. im content.
papa, tumayo ka na diyan. strong ka! alam kong kaya mo.
10am, yaya nini woke me up because there was another call. i answered and mom said your stomach was giving up already. i was waking up dad, but he just budged. i didnt know what to do already. i didnt know what i was doing. i got up, dressed up. i wanted be back where you were! another call, cardiac arrest. my dad got up
in the car. my dad and i were telling stories. but then a sudden silence came, we were both quiet. we got to the parking lot of the place, dad wanted me to go up first. but i said no. i guess i just couldnt see you like that in that state anymore.
papa, diba? tatayo ka na? bakit hindi ka pa tumatayo.
ayaw kitang bulungan. kasi tatayo ka pa eh. kasi magbibingo pa tayo eh, kasi kakausapin mo pa ako. lelecturan tungkol sa buhay.
1:14. ang cold mo naman! umalis ka na lang. di mo na kami kinakausap. bakit ka ganyan?
tuesday
dami mong friends.
wednesday.
nabalitaan ko na you wanted us to have lunch that sunday before going to the place. you wanted all of us to be together but your body was giving up saturday pa lang.
you told your doctors your coming in after lunch
you left us after lunch. we were all together.
thats what you wanted, that was your plan.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
sa kasalukuyan
Unang araw: ngiti, hindi puro luha. alam kong ika'y natuwa. Strong kami like you.
------
Papa, break muna ha? ilalabas ko lang ang inis ko
------
habang dumidiin ang pag pindot ko sa keyboards ko iniisip ko? pano kong sila naman ang mawalan?
sila ang maiwan? sila ang humarap ng nararamdaman ko ngayon? Putangina.
alam ko nakakairita ako. and yes i keep things to myself.
was it really my fault or you werent just really that close to me? would you care if you would know?
I AM DISABLED. the truth is im lost. in my reality, im breaking down inside. but in this world's reality i have to face every face that is being introduced to me. wtf. i cant seem to get myself to work. i dont know why. i know i can but i choose not to. maarte? cge yun na lang. pero yung totoo ayoko. ayoko lang talaga.
------
Papa, break muna ha? ilalabas ko lang ang inis ko
------
habang dumidiin ang pag pindot ko sa keyboards ko iniisip ko? pano kong sila naman ang mawalan?
sila ang maiwan? sila ang humarap ng nararamdaman ko ngayon? Putangina.
alam ko nakakairita ako. and yes i keep things to myself.
was it really my fault or you werent just really that close to me? would you care if you would know?
I AM DISABLED. the truth is im lost. in my reality, im breaking down inside. but in this world's reality i have to face every face that is being introduced to me. wtf. i cant seem to get myself to work. i dont know why. i know i can but i choose not to. maarte? cge yun na lang. pero yung totoo ayoko. ayoko lang talaga.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
kumpleto ang cast
Dumating ako sa eksena, sinalubong ako ng dalawa pang baguhang fan at kwinento na nawala ang idol namin sa fighting scene. akala ng lahat tapos na ang palabas pero hindi pa!! bumalik siya matapos ang 7minuto. ANG GALING! umabot pa ako. Laban idol laban! lahat kami naghihiyawan lahat kaming umaasa sa fighting scene na ito. nakakakaba, ang bigat totoong totoo ang lahat.
Idol, kaya mo yan! tapos bigla akong tinulak ako papasok ng isa pang fan, kinuha ko na ang pagkakataon na ito. lumapit ako kay idol. pinaalam ko na andito kami, ako ang magbabantay sa iba, at chineer ko pa siya ng kaya mo yan!! matapos ang ilang minuto dinala ang idol ko sa arena kung saan last level na. pagkatapos harapin ang higanteng ito. TAGUMPAY!
isa-isa ng kumpleto ang cast.
ngunit nasugatan at nanghina ang idol ko....OH NO!!! pero GO GO GO!! sabi ng assistant director..."it doesnt look good, we have to prepare for the worst" ano? ano? baguhin mo ayusin mo! Go! biglang sumigaw ang direktor "we're not calling it quits yet" OF COURSE NOT. sumigaw ulit ang direktor "he might not make it" ano ba? direktor ka diba? anong might? loko ka ah! IDOL GALINGAN MO.
katahimikan.
WOOOH!! nakabalik pa si idol sa kwarto. Ang galing ang galing. panalo talaga tong idol ko. mga direktor na toh hindi ko kamalaman kung anong gustong ipasabi ang galing mangbitin ng kwento!! go idol! you are soooo good!
kumpleto na ang cast.
0 ... 60 ... lumalaban ... ano toh points? ... 0 ...14 ... 0 ... 72 ... 0 ... 0 ... 0 ...
HOY IDOL!!!! diba may isasign ka pang contrata?
0 ... 0 ... hihingi tayo ng extension sa manager mo 0 ... 0 ...
sumara ang kurtina. DI PA TAPOS ANG PALABAS. 1. 2.. 3.. clear. anong nangyayari sa loob??? buksan niyo!!
ang pangit ng background music. ano yung linya na yun? sira ata yung screen!!
idol? idol?
binuksan muli ang kurtina...IDOL...idol...hindi ka man lang ngumiti sa huling pagkakataon. hindi man lang kita nahawakan.
kagabi lang binabantayan kita ah? kaya mo pa eh! malakas ka pa. kaya nga kita idol diba? ano ba. idilat mo mata mo!! bakit ka nagtatago sa ilalim ng kumot? wag kang kabahan. bakit ang lamig lamig mo? yakap na kita ah. IDOL IDOL.
nagroll na ang credits. tapos na ang palabas. 1:14pm nagend ang show.
kumpleto na ang cast, magkakasama kaming lahat. bibigat lang siguro ang pakiramdam ni idol kung makita niyang malungkot kami. Magpakasaya ka na Idol, aalagaan ko ang fans club mo at ang mga cast. sabihin mo kay manager ang galing niya at inalagaan ka niyang mabuti. kami naman ang panuorin mo idol, mas maganda ang view mo ngayon. kahit na tapos na ang contrata mo, ikaw pa rin ang bida. I love you, i miss you so much.
umulan.
----
Papa, hindi mo kami iniwan. i know. you're just around here somewhere. to be fair, like you did for us. we'll be strong and we'll keep each other. I love you, you know that. be happy. wherever you are eat the yummiest foods ever, play the golf in the wonderful clean green grass. You had a good run, you were a matinee idol. you were a star, you were home box whatever that is. You are my idol.
-no.1 apo.
Idol, kaya mo yan! tapos bigla akong tinulak ako papasok ng isa pang fan, kinuha ko na ang pagkakataon na ito. lumapit ako kay idol. pinaalam ko na andito kami, ako ang magbabantay sa iba, at chineer ko pa siya ng kaya mo yan!! matapos ang ilang minuto dinala ang idol ko sa arena kung saan last level na. pagkatapos harapin ang higanteng ito. TAGUMPAY!
isa-isa ng kumpleto ang cast.
ngunit nasugatan at nanghina ang idol ko....OH NO!!! pero GO GO GO!! sabi ng assistant director..."it doesnt look good, we have to prepare for the worst" ano? ano? baguhin mo ayusin mo! Go! biglang sumigaw ang direktor "we're not calling it quits yet" OF COURSE NOT. sumigaw ulit ang direktor "he might not make it" ano ba? direktor ka diba? anong might? loko ka ah! IDOL GALINGAN MO.
katahimikan.
WOOOH!! nakabalik pa si idol sa kwarto. Ang galing ang galing. panalo talaga tong idol ko. mga direktor na toh hindi ko kamalaman kung anong gustong ipasabi ang galing mangbitin ng kwento!! go idol! you are soooo good!
kumpleto na ang cast.
0 ... 60 ... lumalaban ... ano toh points? ... 0 ...14 ... 0 ... 72 ... 0 ... 0 ... 0 ...
HOY IDOL!!!! diba may isasign ka pang contrata?
0 ... 0 ... hihingi tayo ng extension sa manager mo 0 ... 0 ...
sumara ang kurtina. DI PA TAPOS ANG PALABAS. 1. 2.. 3.. clear. anong nangyayari sa loob??? buksan niyo!!
ang pangit ng background music. ano yung linya na yun? sira ata yung screen!!
idol? idol?
binuksan muli ang kurtina...IDOL...idol...hindi ka man lang ngumiti sa huling pagkakataon. hindi man lang kita nahawakan.
kagabi lang binabantayan kita ah? kaya mo pa eh! malakas ka pa. kaya nga kita idol diba? ano ba. idilat mo mata mo!! bakit ka nagtatago sa ilalim ng kumot? wag kang kabahan. bakit ang lamig lamig mo? yakap na kita ah. IDOL IDOL.
nagroll na ang credits. tapos na ang palabas. 1:14pm nagend ang show.
kumpleto na ang cast, magkakasama kaming lahat. bibigat lang siguro ang pakiramdam ni idol kung makita niyang malungkot kami. Magpakasaya ka na Idol, aalagaan ko ang fans club mo at ang mga cast. sabihin mo kay manager ang galing niya at inalagaan ka niyang mabuti. kami naman ang panuorin mo idol, mas maganda ang view mo ngayon. kahit na tapos na ang contrata mo, ikaw pa rin ang bida. I love you, i miss you so much.
umulan.
----
Papa, hindi mo kami iniwan. i know. you're just around here somewhere. to be fair, like you did for us. we'll be strong and we'll keep each other. I love you, you know that. be happy. wherever you are eat the yummiest foods ever, play the golf in the wonderful clean green grass. You had a good run, you were a matinee idol. you were a star, you were home box whatever that is. You are my idol.
-no.1 apo.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Idol
Idol,
sa buong buhay ko lagi kitang tinitingila. ang lakas mo kasi, walang makabara sayo
ang talino mo lahat ng maabutan mong problema nalulutasan mo...pero kung hindi man nalulusutan mo
pinapanuod kita. lagi akong natutuwa at natatawa sa mga pinag gagawa mo
nasabi ko ng i want to be like you
a person who tries everything, knows have to fun, knowledgeable, knows what to say, wise, family person, at higit sa lahat ang iyong pagiging strong.
Idol, ang galing galing mo. kaya ng makita kita nakahilata sa kwartong yun nanghina ako.
Hindi ko alam gagawin ko, ayoko maawa kasi alam ko kaya mo! malakas loob ko na dadating ang susunod mong episode.
Strong ka!! strong din kami. strong din ako...para sayo.
Wag kang bibigay agad, lumaban ka. Dont give up easily, we're no quitters. we always give up a good fight.
pinapanuod pa rin kita. aabangan kita.
- fan
__________________
ang hirap hirap makita ang idol mo na nahihirapan. buong buhay mong tiningala, tinamaan lang ng ligaw na bala, nanghina na. pero hindi magbabago ang tingin ko sakanya, kasi ang mga idol kelangan din magpahinga. onting pahinga lang yan idol!!
Pag-tao nga naman ang idol mo...
sa buong buhay ko lagi kitang tinitingila. ang lakas mo kasi, walang makabara sayo
ang talino mo lahat ng maabutan mong problema nalulutasan mo...pero kung hindi man nalulusutan mo
pinapanuod kita. lagi akong natutuwa at natatawa sa mga pinag gagawa mo
nasabi ko ng i want to be like you
a person who tries everything, knows have to fun, knowledgeable, knows what to say, wise, family person, at higit sa lahat ang iyong pagiging strong.
Idol, ang galing galing mo. kaya ng makita kita nakahilata sa kwartong yun nanghina ako.
Hindi ko alam gagawin ko, ayoko maawa kasi alam ko kaya mo! malakas loob ko na dadating ang susunod mong episode.
Strong ka!! strong din kami. strong din ako...para sayo.
Wag kang bibigay agad, lumaban ka. Dont give up easily, we're no quitters. we always give up a good fight.
pinapanuod pa rin kita. aabangan kita.
- fan
__________________
ang hirap hirap makita ang idol mo na nahihirapan. buong buhay mong tiningala, tinamaan lang ng ligaw na bala, nanghina na. pero hindi magbabago ang tingin ko sakanya, kasi ang mga idol kelangan din magpahinga. onting pahinga lang yan idol!!
Pag-tao nga naman ang idol mo...
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Masarap kang magmahal
Labi mo't labi ko'y nagdidikit
Hawak ang katawan mo ako'y nanginginig
Iisa ang nilalaman ng ating dibdib
Parehong nilalanghap na hangin
Ikaw ang hanap sa araw at gabi
Dating mo ay nakakahumali
Sa haplos mo dahan dahan akong namamatay
Wala akong kalabanlaban, walang kamalaymalay
Bakit sa bawat kanto ng buhay, dumarating ka?
Nakakabaliw ka, tama na
Gusto kong tapusin na ito
Ayokong dumepende sa iyo...
Masarap kang magmahal
Pero ako'y nasasakal
Nahihirapan, nanghihina
Ikaw ang nagiisang dahilan
Gusto kita pero di mahal
Masaya akong nakilala ka
Hanggang dun na lang aking makakaya
Wag mo na sana akong akitin pa...
Hawak ang katawan mo ako'y nanginginig
Iisa ang nilalaman ng ating dibdib
Parehong nilalanghap na hangin
Ikaw ang hanap sa araw at gabi
Dating mo ay nakakahumali
Sa haplos mo dahan dahan akong namamatay
Wala akong kalabanlaban, walang kamalaymalay
Bakit sa bawat kanto ng buhay, dumarating ka?
Nakakabaliw ka, tama na
Gusto kong tapusin na ito
Ayokong dumepende sa iyo...
Masarap kang magmahal
Pero ako'y nasasakal
Nahihirapan, nanghihina
Ikaw ang nagiisang dahilan
Gusto kita pero di mahal
Masaya akong nakilala ka
Hanggang dun na lang aking makakaya
Wag mo na sana akong akitin pa...
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